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Thank You My Lovely Wife For 11 Years of Whoredom:
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I want to thank you my darling soon to be ex-wife for all the wonderful things you have given to me over the years. Lots of debt, the wonderful loss of most of my friends because they thought that I was an idiot for staying married to a wonderful cunt such as yourself.
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The humiliating moment last year when your drunken stupid ass threw up all over my best client at the Christmas party. All the wonderful times when those beautiful flowers seem to quite frequently show up at our house. All those fun filled family trips spent with your cell phone in your ear blabbing with your girlfriend. The one I cant fucking stand. You know the one, Gracie the one who has cheated on her husband about a dozen times in the last two years. I also want to thank you for all those three thousand dollar credit card bills from your shopping sprees. I want to thank you for the sweetest day when those flowers showed up from whoever the fuck it was at that time and you felt so bad about me being upset that you put them in the dining room for all of us to adore. I wanted to thank you for calling my kids names because they won’t come over when you’re home, because they can’t stand your drunk ass. I wanted to thank you for the three wonderful times you come to see me when I was in the hospital for 6-days after that car accident I was in. I wanted to thank you for all the fear and resentment you’ve given me over the years. I wanted to thank you for all the arguments you have caused because I gave my children money. I want to thank you for letting me help save your rental house from foreclosure, and for all those 900 dollar a month tuition fees for your children's private schooling. I wanted mostly to thank you for lovingly letting me waste 13-years of my life on you. I also wanted to thank you for the brand new Envoy Denali I bought you last year that is locked up in the garage.
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I was looking at the keys and they didn't seem to shine like used to so I had a locksmith come over and put a brand new designer set in along with matching ignition and remotes. That was just for you baby because I love ya.
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Oh shit I forgot, you wont be reading this yet because you are on a business trip that your company has no fucking knowledge of with some fuck stick that I don't have any knowledge of, or so you think. I also wanted to thank you for the best money I ever spent on a computer forensic expert to come out and hack your triple pass worded computer that I bought you for Christmas. Imagine my pure joy and excitement when I found out just how long all this has been going on and with all those great guys who are going to take real good care of you. I wanted to thank you for being such a wonderful dedicated loving partner and wife. I also want to thank all those great guys who are going to take such good care of you from now on. When you get back, you’d better call one or more of them because your ass is out of here bitch. My lawyer’s already filled the divorce papers, the locks have been changed, the credit cards canceled, and the bank accounts closed.
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And by the way honey I spent a little extra on you yesterday when I rented a storage unit for one month for you and paid those wonderful movers with your only credit card when they moved your shit out of ‘MY HOUSE’ into your brand new storage unit. I truly hope you like it. It has such a warm and wonderful decor, that I think you will find it breathtaking. After all nothing but the best for you babe.
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Don’t bother coming over tonight, doll because I wont be home tonight. Your sister the nurse has diagnosed me with a serious medical condition that I must seek immediate treatment for. She instructed me to come to her home office tonight and she is going to give me my first treatment for extreme stiffness of my cock. As you know, I'm packing about 8-inches. I asked your sister if she'd like for it to be just a little bit bigger. She said, "Brother-law, if your cock was any bigger, you wouldn't be married to my sister. You'd be doing porn." I told her that was a bunch of bullshit. A guy has to be ripped and have a big cock to do porn. She replied, "Well, if your cock was bigger it would give you the motivation to get ripped and do porn. Plus, Ron Jeremy is a fat slob and he had no problem getting into the business."
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I watch porn and I'm envious of guys like Ron Jeremy, Peter North, Erik Everhard, etc. These guys get to nail some of the most beautiful pussy on the planet...and get paid for it too boot.
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But I digress. If you haven’t figured it out yet, we’re through. And, thanks to our pre-nep and some good detectives you’re not getting a dime.
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Love your ex-husband
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Charles
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