girlfriend----part-1-of-1

My ex-college Girlfriend

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Sometimes I think about my ex-girlfriend, Debbie from college. I only dated her for about 6-months during our 3rd year in college. We more or less became friends because she lived down the hall from me in our dorm. Although we were from the same hometown, we never actually met until college. We ended up hanging out together over the Thanksgiving holidays, and when we got back to school, I kissed her. After that we were together without really talking about it.

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For some reason after that, I couldn't get myself completely used to the idea of being with Debbie. There was just something about Debbie that I couldn't get used to. There was this other girl; Sandra that I grew up with whom I think always had my heart. I thought about Sandra all the time. We used to call each other all the time. But then this year Sandra was with us at school, and I wanted her too. Or so I thought.

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The 6-months we were together was turbulent, to say the least. Debbie was a virgin and I was her first. I always felt bad about taking her virginity but was also secretly thrilled. Not long after that, Debbie told me that she thought she loved me and I told her she was fucked up, and insisted she leave. So she did.

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Then after she left, I felt bad because no girl had ever said that to it and me before felt good to hear it. I couldn't let her know that though, so I acted cold and aloof. Deep down I felt bad about acting that way towards her, but I just couldn't stop myself.

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I broke up with her a few months later because I knew school was ending and I had planned to spend the summer with my other girl Sandra and didn't feel like trying to juggle the 2-of them. I ended up married to the Sandra.

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I think about Debbie, my old college girlfriend all the time lately. I'd like to see her now because I bet she's still good looking. Even after all this time, married for 14-years, 2-great boys later, I still wonder if I didn't love that chick Debbie all those years ago.

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I used to never think about Debbie, but now I think of her all the time. When I think about her with fond memories, warmth fills my heart and I send love her way through the universe. Sounds lame, I know, but it's true and I can never tell that to anybody else. If I were to try to tell my wife about it, she'd get jealous and think I was trying to hook up with my ex. And that's just not what it's about at all. I'm not even sure anybody would understand.

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The end…