Why are single men happier than women?

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1. We keep our last name.
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2. The garage is all ours.
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3. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
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4. Chocolate is just another snack.
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5. We can be president.
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6. We can wear a white T-shirt to a water park.
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7. Car mechanics tell us the truth.
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8. The world is our urinal.
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9. We never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too icky.
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10. Same work, more pay.
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11. Wrinkles add character.
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12. Wedding dress - $5000; tux rental - $100.
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13. People never stare at our chest when we're talking to them.
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14. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
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15. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle our feet.
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16. One mood, ALL the time.
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17. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
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18. We know stuff about tanks.
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19. A five-day vacation requires only one suitcase.
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20. We can open all our own jars.
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21. We get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
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22. If someone forgets to invite us, he or she can still be our friend.
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23. Our underwear is $8.95 for a three-pack.
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24. Everything on our face stays its original color.
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25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.
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26. We don't have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a bolt.
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27. We almost never have strap problems in public
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28. We are unable to see wrinkles in our clothes.
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29. The same hair style lasts for years, maybe decades.
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.30. We don't have to shave below our neck.
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31. Our belly usually hides our big hips.
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32. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all seasons.
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33. We can "do" our nails with a pocket-knife.
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34. We have freedom of choice concerning growing a mustache.
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35. We can do Christmas shopping for 25 relatives, on December 24, in 45 minutes.

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