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Vacation From Hell
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I got a cabin in the mountains thanks to the fact that my six weeks of time shares that were paid for by my exe and I got all used up my his family. So to make amends my ex let me take his new Camero, his baby. I took my two children, son Carl age 11 and daughter Andrea, age 5. Andrea also brought along her pet baby chick ‘Peepers’ that she got to replace her rabbit that passed away.
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All was fine for the 4-days we were there. Then the morning we were to leave it all started...
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Woke up to find ‘Peepers’ had died, why? No Clue. Andrea was still asleep so Carl and I buried it behind the cabin. We knew that Andrea would sleep all the way home so we decided to get another chick at the same feed store.
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We told Andrea that we’d taken her chick to the vet to get vitamin shots and would pick it up on the way home, and she believed it.
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So we pack all our stuff up and walk downhill to pack it all in the trunk, and of course it’s raining. When we’re all packed ready to go, I start to back out the dirt driveway and I hear this crunch under the Camero. WTF? Apparently this huge rock rolled down the driveway because of the rain and it’s now stuck under the car.
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Okay, I got a hammer but it won’t budge. New idea jack up the Camero and get the rock out. Bad part is all our stuff that we just packed in the trunk is in the way of getting out the jack. Okay, unload all our stuff, again in the rain and there is no fucking jack. WTF? It’s new and I know that it came with a jack, so what happened to the jack?
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So I trudge to the nearest neighbor and asked him if he has a jack that I can borrow. According to him he doesn’t. He has four cars in his driveway, but no jack?
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New idea. Get some boards and make a small ramp for one of the tires and then pull the damn rock out. So I drag a bunch of boards from behind the cabin and make a ramp. Then when I went to move the car, it wouldn’t start. WTF? Okay its not making any noise at all so I figured that the battery cable was loose. Started to open the hood and it wouldn’t open, its broke. WTF?
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My daughter, that’s been sitting by all our stuff suddenly started screaming. A frigging dog is eating our food? So I chase off the damn dog.
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Now I guess I’ll have to walk back up the hill to the cabin and call for help. Only when I got there the phone that was working all fucking weekend is now dead. This is starting to piss me off, big time. Okay, so I check the line and because it’s an old phone jack the wires have to be reattached because one came loose. Great I got the phone to work but since I don’t want my exe to know that there was a huge frigging rock stuck under his car, I called around to see if I could find a mobile repair service. Naturally I can’t.
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Finally I was forced to call the exe but the rock wasn’t mentioned. He informed me that yeah the hood is broken and I can’t open it. Nice, but at least he knows why it won’t start. He bypassed something (have no clue what or why) under the steering wheel and sometimes the clip comes lose and has to be rewired back. But to get to the clip I’ll have to take off a cover that is under the dash, below the steering wheel. Okay so I head back down to the car, take the cover off and guess what? There are tons of the fucking clips. So which one came loose? Don’t know so I rewire all the clips. Took me forever but it worked, the car started.
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So then we put all our stuff that’s been rained on and dog mauled back in the trunk. I pulled up the ramp on one wheel and got the ‘rock-from-hell’ out from under the car.
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Yeah, after hours and hours we finally get to go home.
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And you think that my bad luck would be over but ‘NOOOOOOOOOO!’
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We were all loaded and started driving down this steep hill when the cover that was under the dash fell down and pushed on the gas pedal. FREAK OUT! When I finally got the cover out of the way and stopped the car, I turned the ignition switch off and torn out the cover, I was so PISSED and FREAKED OUT!
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We get close to home but now we had stop and pick up ‘Peepers’ the chick. So I go into the feed store. I leave Andrea and Carl waiting in the car. Thank goodness, Andrea was still asleep.
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All the chicks looked the same so got one, bought it and put it in the car in ‘Peepers’ cage. Naturally Andrea wakes up and wants to hold the cage. As she looks in the cage, she says, “WOW, look how much ‘peepers’ wings grew. We said, see the vitamin shots worked (Uh ohhh). Then she said that ‘Peepers’ doesn’t like her any more.
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Finally we were home and we unpack the trunk.
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Since I’m home you’d think that this story would be over, but noooooooooo!
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I’d left some stuff in the back seat. So when I pushed back the drivers seat forward to get my stuff, the seat flipped back and the broken plastic pieces that holds the seat belt hits me right by my eye. Not only was my eye bleeding where I cant see out of it, and it hurts so frigging that bad I run in the house and laid down on the couch in major pain. When I could finally get up and look in the mirror there was blood everywhere and I had a fucking black eye along with a huge gash.
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And that, dear friends was the end of my vacation from hell.... a true story!
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