Simple Rules CHICKS Don't Know:
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1. Nothing says, “I love you” like a blowjob in the morning.
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2. Learn to work the toilet seat: if it's up, put it down.
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3. Don't cut your hair. Ever.
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4. Don't make us guess.
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5. If you ask us a question you don't want an answer to, expect an answer you don't want to hear.
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6. Sometimes he's not thinking about you. Live with it.
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7. He's never thinking about "The Relationship."
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8. Get rid of your cat. No, it's not different; it's just like every other cat.
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9. Dogs are better then ANY cat. Period.
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10. SUNDAY=SPORTS. It's just like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
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11. Shopping is not everybody’s idea of a good time.
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12. You have enough clothes.
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13. You have enough shoes.
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14. Anything you wear is fine. Really.
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15. Crying is blackmail. Use it if you must. But don't expect us to like it.
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16. Your brother is an idiot, your ex-boyfriend is an idiot, and your dad probably is too.
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17. Ask for what you want. Guy’s are dense, subtle hints don't work.
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18. He won't remember your anniversary, so mark it on the calendar (in BIG red letters).
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19. Share the bathroom.
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20. Share the closet.
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21. Yes and No, are perfectly acceptable answers.
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22. A headache that lasts for 17-months is a problem. See a doctor.
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23. Nothing says, "I love you" like a blowjob in the morning.
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24. Foreign films are for foreigners.
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25. Check your oil.
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26. Don't give us 50 rules, when 25 will do.
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27. Don't fake it. We'd rather be ineffective than deceived.
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28. Anything we said 6 or 8 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
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29. All comments become null and void after 7 days.
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30. If you don't dress like Victoria Secret girls, don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
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31. If something we said could be interpreted two different ways, and one way makes you sad or angry. We meant the other way.
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32. Let us ogle other women, if we don't look at other women, how will we know how pretty you are?
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33. Don't rub the lamp if you don't want the genie to come out.
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34. You can either ask us to do something, or tell us how you want it done. Not both.
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35. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
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36. Christopher Columbus didn't need directions and neither do we.
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37. Women wearing wonder bras and low cut blouses, lose their right to complain about having their boobs stared at.
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38. When we're turning the steering wheel and the car is starting onto the off ramp, you saying, "this is our exit," is not necessary.
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39. Nothing says "I love you" like a blowjob in the morning.
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