my chemistry partner
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I dropped by my favorite bar last night after class and everywhere I looked was hot girls. I loved them all, in their shot skirts and dresses and brown tights, leather motorcycle boots, tight skirts and no tights. They made my legs weak. There were so many pretty girls that they crashed my nervous system and fired every synapse in my brain. How could I possibly speak to any of them?
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When a girl had soft curvy hips I want to feel them sway. When they were too skinny I want their hipbones to leave bruises on me. When they came around me with their tattoos and darkness I want them to corrupt me. When they strutted past me in their heels and mini-skirts I want to defile them.
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When the skin crinkles around their smiling eyes I want to remind them what it's like to be felt up in a car, sitting awkwardly, my hand sliding up under their shirt. When they act all tough in dark skinny jeans and colorful flat little shoes I want them to jump into my arms so I can carry them home. I want to hear the noises they make when I show them the secrets they haven't learned yet.
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I want to feel the skin of their thighs under my fingertips. I want to stand behind them with my arms around them and feel their whole body push back into mine. I want to smell their hair and feel it on my skin. I want to feel their naked flesh against mine while their head rests on my arm and I run my hand through their hair. I want to bury my face in their breasts and fall asleep. I want slide my hand down their belly, between their legs, to feel them get turned on from the words I speak into their ear.
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The only problem is, when it comes to beautiful girls, I’m so shy that I get tongue-tied and can’t talk to them. As I sat there at the bar, admiring but too shy to talk to the ladies, you came in. I was surprised to see you there because during class you always seemed so uptight. I never pegged you for a drinker or a smoker. We had a few beers and everyone in the place disappeared. Miraculously, you were able to get me to relax and open up and talk. No girl has ever done that before. We're pretty different aren't we? I wrestled in high school and you were into drama. You're pre med and I'm pre nothing yet. You smoked a cigarette just to be cool; when in reality you don't really even smoke.
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Saying goodbye to our friends, I walked you to your car. When I nervously asked for your phone number, you asked me to sit for a while. When I kissed you, I felt like I was falling into a quiet warm sleep. Your perfume, your soft skin and warm breath were crazy hot. I felt the spin and I know you did too.
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We drove to my place because your roommate was home. We went upstairs and ordered Chinese and I gave you some cheap wine. Sorry! We talked about school and sports and your dreams for the future. I showed you my wrestling medals and you were impressed. You have no clue about wrestling but you made the effort to be interested. That is why you are so cute.
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I was being the perfect gentleman because that light had went on that told me that you were the real deal. Even as shy as I am, I’ve dated a few women and some are not the real deal. After many dates you made the first move and when you put your hand on my lap and rubbed my thigh. When you cooed and put your tongue in my ear you knew I wanted you too. The moment I dreamed of had finally arrived. After weeks of dining, movies, interesting phone conversations, great laughs and seductive looks, the time to unwrap the present had finally arrived. The kissing was great, your breasts were firm and your body was flawless. You seem perfect. As my fingers gently massage your belly button and frontal pelvic area, I can feel you tense up with anticipation. I moved my fingers down and felt your soft, warm, wetness. Rubbing my fingers along your moist crevice, I gently played my way inside. As I insert my finger, you seemed perfect in every way. The way you move is still amazing to me. You undressed; removing your blouse and pink bra like it's the first time you’ve ever done it with a guy watching. I have never seen more beautiful soft breasts and firm erect nipples. The way you touched me was how I should touch you. Even I knew that. I watched in awe as you took your jeans off. Your body was amazing, very feminine and very firm like the body of a dancer.
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Your soft body and my hard ugly abs came together in the oldest ritual on earth. But this was lovemaking not sex. We bonded and you whispered quiet private things to me. That was the sexiest thing of all. It was so exciting seeing your face when I was giving you pleasure, and your toes curling in ecstasy was intoxicating. Your perfume is still on my hands and on my sheets.
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We talked on the phone this morning and we have Organic Chemistry on Tuesday together.
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A lot has changed in one week. I feel for her in a way that I’ve never felt about anyone before. I’ve been with beautiful women before, with bright intelligent and soulful women. I get a feeling when I’m near her that I’ve had with anyone as long as I can remember. As Melvin says to Carol in “As Good As It Gets”, she makes me “want to be a better man.” I want to be a better man anyway, but she gives me a reason.
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As lab partners we work well together. Having her around makes me better, I think. Maybe I help her in the same respect, I don't know. I don’t like to brag but I'm smarter than most people; and she's even smarter than I am. She’s one of the most intelligent women I’ve ever known and she has a quick wit, a terrific sense of humor. She likes me too; I can see it in her eyes, though I don’t know how much, really. I find that women are attracted to me, even if not at first, and certainly not because of my looks but because of who I am. I want her because of the way I feel around her; I need her because she inspires me.
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So every day when I see her I breathe deeply and treat her as my dear friend, as someone who I’ll protect. I’m happy that I’m associated with her. Afraid that I’ll lose her, every day I look for someone else who can fill her shoes, wondering if that’s really possible. One of my goals in life was to grow up and it’s been partially attained. So I take responsibility for meeting my needs and not expecting anyone else to fulfill me. I recognize that having a crush on someone and the funny feeling in my stomach and infatuation and sexual attraction are all a part of life. But I consider love to be a higher value.
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Love is considering, and giving priority to, the wants and needs of the person you love. Otherwise, it’s just your desires and needs.
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The End…
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